Outsourced call centers.
Don't get me wrong. I do, in fact, hate EVERYTHING. But this hate is perhaps my strongest hate. BECAUSE IT'S P'OWNING ME.
Here's a little taste of what I'm dealing with today, only imagine that the hold music is this weird techno flamenco guitar and that it lasts for TEN MINUTES.
I'm sorry. I feel this need to drag you down with me. Listen to it at least eight more times. Let's bear this pain together.
This is MY DAY.
My occipital lobe hurts.
Cher needs to come out with a new album.
I think that's all I've got for today.
I'm writing this while listening to the horrible hold music on speaker phone because my wrist is sick of being so close to my ear.
I think I need to look at some LolCatz. Not because I'm a huge fan of LolCatz, but because it numbs the pain of knowing that NO ONE IN MY OUTSOURCED CALL CENTER CARES ABOUT MY WRIST OR MY FEELINGS.
Encroaching on minute eleven. I think this would be the perfect time to channel my feelings into haiku-writing.
Answer my call, please.
I just need to change my flight.
It's not that hard, guys.
I know you, call center.
None of you can speak English.
Why does this happen?
Buy Rosetta Stone.
It will improve your English.
My wrist is throbbing.
I'm good at haikus.
I'm glad I realized this.
I rock you, haiku.
I wish I had a
a decent end for this post.
Wet ducks tread lightly.
Lucy
dry ducks make terrible ninjas
ReplyDeleteSO glad I work at an... in-sourced call center? Everyone praises the fact that we are American and speak English.
ReplyDeleteI HATE calling support for ANYTHING. Microsoft... DIE... Travelocity.. BURN IN HELL. Paypal... SUCK MY FAT TOE... I HATE THEM ALL. I always end up asking for supervisors... while still foreign and out-sourced... will listen to me bitch and fix my goddamn problem promptly without giving me any lip. They are more mouthy too, those out-sourced assholes. If I acted like they did at my job, I'd get fired.
And I'm sure Steven understands that we are, in fact, soul mates ;)
I don't have hold music where I work so I usually just chew gum real loud when people call me for something while I'm busy.
ReplyDeleteMy bank announced this week that they are bringing their (currently in India) call center back to the UK due to customer complaints.
ReplyDeleteThis made my day.
I have nothing against foreign people having jobs, but when I want to cancel a direct debit I'd like very much if the person on the other end of the phone and I spoke the same language.
Hello? No answer
ReplyDeletePre-recorded messages
I feel empty now.
Yes. Holy crap yes. This is half my life summed up right here.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking English kinda helps when it comes to, you know, calling support.
dry ducks, unlike wet ducks, are less aerodynamic. plus they can't throw ninja stars. thus, weissy, you are CORRECT!
ReplyDeleteiY, they were SO mouthy! i finally spoke to this bitch named katie and i swear she's got the timeshare next to me in hell because she was that big of a bitch. also, i'm glad that steven is on the same page as we are!
rafa,are you chewing gum IN ENGLISH while people are on hold? this is important and i can TOTALLY tell a foreign gum-chewer.
cowgirl, WOOHOO! i didn't think i hated call centers with the fiery passion of ONE THOUSAND SUNS until this week. then i realized that as nice as it is for us to give indian people jobs, WE SHOULDN'T because IT MAKES ME MAD.
scott, your haiku kicked my haiku's sorry ASS. but you have to admit, "wet ducks tread lightly" may be the single best ending to a post EVER.
laura, I KNOW! it's like call center 101. plus they get all frustrated because i can't translate their muddled half-indian over the phone and get all lippy and slyly insult me. to which i say, i wish i could understand your insults but i can't because I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING THAT YOU'RE SAYING.
i hate when i'm on hold for a long time and i push the phone too close to my face because my hand is tired and i'm trying to use my face to help hold the phone and then i suddenly realize i'm not hearing the music (or the gum chewing in the case of me calling rafa's workplace) anymore...because my face just disconnected my call...nooooo! and i have to start all over again.
ReplyDelete