I saw this commercial the other day and it gave me a newfound appreciation for my normal pillow.
Let's do a play-by-play.
Starting with the name "Happy Napper".
What a horrible name with horrible hard "p" sounds.
HaPPy NaPPer.
Now I'll go into a bizarre personal fact about me. Whenever I see a sing-along video with the lyrics on the bottom of the screen and a little ball, my first impulse is to attempt to sing along. So when the sing-along portion of the Happy Napper jingle comes along, I have no choice but to try to sing it without any knowledge of the song.
So I try to sing along and I CAN'T. There are several reasons for this:
1) I've never heard the Happy Napper jingle before.
2) The Happy Napper jingle is not a popular song. It is most certainly not Cher's 1998 hit single "Believe".
3) The tune of the Happy Napper jingle is surprisingly tough to follow. It's not anything like the Pillow Pet jingle. Talk about a catchy jingle.
So I attempt to sing along and I FAIL. So let me tell you something else about myself: If I do not succeed in a sing-along, I will study the song until I can nail it PERFECTLY. So I do. I sit through the next ten minute sequence of Blue's Clues (I was sitting with youthful vermin at the time, I don't want to talk about it,) and the commercial comes up again. But it's such a quick sing-along sequence that it sneaks by like a Yeti and IT'S GONE.
Damnit.
I can't watch another episode of Blue's Clues without thinking about this one time that one of my professors told me about how he smoked pot with the actor who played Steve. But thankfully I captured the jingle on a tape recorder so I put it on my nightstand and played it all night on loop while I was sleeping.
So today I got up and turned on Blue's Clues, but I was smart about it and covered my TV screen with black construction paper so I wouldn't actually have to watch Shwag Steve talking to a green screen dog. I stare at the black construction paper and I wait for a commercial break. Then I hear the siren call of Happy Napper.
After NAILING the sing-along portion of the commercial, I arrange the black construction paper on the dirt floor of my charming pot hole and continue watching the Happy Napper sales pitch.
Now that I'm actually thinking about the concept of a Happy Napper, it's pretty graphic. The whole idea of a Happy Napper is that your stuffed animal can be taken out of a brightly colored pillow house by its face and played with all day. But at night, you rip open your ladybug's back and shove its house into its spine until tomorrow, where you rip it back out again.
I'm a violent person, but THIS IS BAD.
This is why I HATE HAPPY NAPPERS. On a side note, Happy Napper advertising executives, if you need a demon with the voice of an angel to croon your rather intricate jingle, I'm your Lucifer!
Lucy
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I for one am angry at the Happy Nappers people. They simply stole my idea. I've been pulling hamsters in and out and stuffing them back into their spines for YEARS! The only difference OBVIOUSLY is that I was using REAL hamsters! So becasue I couldn't get it pattented, these a-holes come and steal my thunder.
ReplyDeleteLove the song "believe", but what the hell is a happy napper?
ReplyDeletehmm, i kind of like blues clues more now knowing that steve partakes in the pot.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny. My Happy Napper is shaped like a boob.
ReplyDeleterafa, those hamsters had it COMING. that's what they get for being useless rodentia.
ReplyDeleteand justina, a happy napper is a creepier version of a pillow pet. but the jingle is WAY more complicated. i think it was written by bach from BEYOND THE GRAVE!
seeing steve in his green shirt takes on a WHOLE new meaning once i knew that. but it still didn't make up for the fact that he hoards household object slaves.
hahaha ahh yes the more mature happy napper models! i'm thinking of making a whorehouse happy napper. so the outside would look like a whorehouse and the inside... well... you know....
"It's a flying dragon with wings!"
ReplyDeleteAs opposed to a flying dragon with a jet pack?
its better than the jackasses at kellogg who can't even formulate a clever fucking jingle for a kids commercial concerning cereal... instead they have to use an ORAL SEX song from the 70's....
ReplyDeleteyummy, yummy, yummy, i gots love in my tummy... or something similar, i dont even KNOW!
can i get one that comes with pre-rolled joints that pop out when it's wake-up time?
ReplyDeletei'd be a happy napper if i could...
i'm almost 100% the original steve killed himself. i remember being pretty upset about the whole thing.
ReplyDeletethe most annoying part of this is when the singalong starts & it says 'they're' on the bottom of the screen, but they are clearly singing 'they are'. also when they said "it's a flying dragon with wings" i thought they said "it's a blind dragon with wings".
& the sleepy sound doorbell, though unique for every happy napper, are all equally terrifying. can you imagine accidentally pressing that in the middle of the night? it would sound like a breathy rapist in your ear.
i sleep with a stuffed hippo i bought in the ikea children's section when i realised i could not afford all the flat-packed swedish furniture i desired. she has none of these quirks, & she gets the fucking job done.