HOW TO HATE EVERYTHING HAS REACHED AN INCONCEIVABLE 50 FOLLOWERS!
This is thrilling. It reminds me of that one time I was crowned prom queen, right before a bucket of pig's blood got dumped over my head...
Oh wait... I think that might have been Bill Murray....
So now the heat is on. With 50 followers to impress, this post better be hotter than a Totino's Pizza Roll.
But then we're adding on another layer. Because you see, judgment day is THIS SATURDAY. So I guess shit is going to go down or something. I don't know. But I'm a hateful person so if the Rapture does come, you can find me kickin' it in my bed watching Paranormal State on Hulu.
The fact that this will not be funny at all if shit really DOES go down on May 21st is not lost on me.
But DAMNIT, all this life-and-death shit is really getting in the way of what's important here: THIS POST HAS GREAT EXPECTATIONS.
So what do I do? What can I effectively spill my heart and soul into that will make YOU, my fifty caged turtle doves, understand how TICKLED BLACK I am that so many people have embraced their rage?
I'm not too sure.... but in the meantime, I can take pictures of ugly people and GIFT THEM TO YOU!
A good qualifier for this picture is that it was raining little pebbles of ICE that day. Something about projectile pebbles of ICE doesn't make me think khaki shorts, but hey, I'M A SOCIOPATH.
Those are slippers you're seeing.
All of this screams SEX. If you need ten minutes, a quiet space and a bottle of lotion, feel free to do what needs to be done.
This one was hard to get. Those antiques are darty.
This one has a little bit of a story. When I go thrift store shopping, I'm really aggressive. So when people get within a five foot radius of me and/or touch the same rack I'm touching, I GET REAL MAD. This trash bag was getting all up in my grill and hoarding the black sweater rack which was really pissing me off because the only thing I wear are black sweaters, preferably Tommy Hilfiger. So for revenge, I took a picture of her and will LOUDLY PARADE IT ABOUT THE CYBER WORLD until I feel justice has been served.
Plus the color combo is heinous.
I tip my hat to YOU, my 50 untrained pygmy marmosets, for embracing the rage and inspiring me to HATE ON! Hate can be a wonderful thing, if you HATE EVERYTHING.
Lucy
That bitch in the thrift store DOES look a bit pushy! She's pissing me off just by having a shopping cart, WHERE DOES SHE THINK SHE IS? COSTCO? She wouldn't make it to Costco, they have a dress code! She can't just show up all slutty like that!
ReplyDeleteSorry, but pushy slutty old ladies at thrift stores just piss me right off!!
white pants should only be adorned by victoria beckham... bitches with pudge need to get it right damnit and hide that shit with some leopard print or something... MUCH more flattering... :D
ReplyDeleteOh, dang. Thanks for giving me another person to hate...that black-sweater-stealer-person-who-takes-over-others'-racks. She will burn.
ReplyDeleteBut, seriously, it's hilarious you put her picture up for everyone to see what a meanie she is.
PS: You're now proudly on my blog roll. Keep on a hatin'.
damn, great idea here, i wish i would've taken a picture of the old lady who sat next to me in the movie theater last night. why do fucking old ladies always think it's ok for them to talk during the whole fucking movie?
ReplyDeleteI like to think my life is like that new Tommy Hilfiger commercial. You know, that one where the pretty white people pretend to participate in traditional country club tomfoolery?
ReplyDeleterafa, you're so right. she's a good-for-nothing HARLOT!
ReplyDeleteif there's one thing i've figured out about fat people, it's that they like to flaunt their rolls. they act like society embraces all body types. AWW HELLZ NAW!
shanimals, i cannot BEGIN to tell you how excited i am that i'm on your blog roll! i might find that haneous rack raper and send her an edible arrangement or something. she'd like that. BECAUSE SHE PROBABLY HOARDS FOOD, TOO!
id, old people at movies suck. i don't know why old people feel entitled to going outdoors in the first place. unacceptable.
i LOVE that commercial! it would be a cold day in hell before i'd jump into a pool wearing a pair of $500 orange tommy hilfiger pants. but they are aggregiously rich... and they're just so darn edgy....
walmart.
ReplyDeletewalmart walmart walmart.
obese woman with titty out spotted feeding her obese son.
all three were fucking huge.
she had on slippers.
walmart